UNITED STATES – After the mysterious death of 19 year old Adam Cole, who was apparently simply riding down the street in his new hoverboard when the hoverboard suddenly exploded, killing him. Authorities have been investigating the remnants of Adam and his board to see exactly how and why the hoverboard exploded—what they discovered was shocking.
Authorities started the investigation by finding out where Adam had got the hoverboard from. Upon asking Adam’s parents, they revealed that Adam had mentioned buying the hoverboard off Aliexpress, a Chinese version of Ebay. “Everyday he would come home from school or work and ask if a package had came for him” says Lisa Cole, Adam’s mother, “I would tell him no and he would always yell out “f*cking Aliexpress”. I didn’t know what he was talking about until I googled Aliexpress and found out it was just a Chinese eBay.” finished Lisa.
After tracking the exact seller where Adam had purchased the board, authorities discovered that the seller, named “Kabo0m”, was ran by terrorist group ISIS members and were selling self-destructing Hoverboards meant to kill the riders. Soon after the discovery, the seller “Kabo0m” mysteriously disappeared from Aliexpress.com without a trace. An estimated 347 hoverboards were purchased from the seller, with about 50 of those customers believed to be in the United States. Authorities are currently trying to locate all the hoverboards and urge hoverboard owners to get rid of the boards by burying it or throwing it in a body of water.
The United States government will issue a ban on all hoverboards in all 50 states, including territories like Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands. Authorities have received orders to confiscate all hoverboards so they could be safely taken to a remote location in Nevada. Failure to comply will result in arrest for suspicion of terrorism.